One of the few questions we get asked here and there. When Paul and I got married almost 4 years ago, we both agreed that we didn’t want to have kids right away, but when we do start having kids, Paul wanted at least 3 children and I wanted 5. Yes, I admit I’m a bit cray cray, and do I still want 5? Maybe I do.. Maybe I don’t..
Fear of Having a Third
I really would love to have a daughter. I mean, I describe myself to be a “pink person” and I love “girly” and “glittery” things. When I used to nanny a 3-year-old girl, I used love to redoing her hair after her afternoon nap. I would brush her blondie hair and give her cute braids, ponytails, and pigtails. She would stare at herself in the mirror and be so happy with whatever hairdo I’d give her.
So yes, I do want a third, but I’m scared it’s gonna be twin boys again (Lol)…or even triplet boys. I’m sure as you even read that sentence, you got scared with me. Imagine a house with 2 sets of twin boys.. sounds a bit crazy and chaotic. But, whether God blesses us with another set of twin boys or whether he doesn’t give us any more children, I will give thanks for each little thing he blesses me with.
Call me crazy again, but I actually don’t mind having boys again because I really do enjoy being a boy mom and I think I will in the future as well. Can’t wait sending them to soccer camp or spending Saturdays at the park or skate park watching my boys play and be boys. This probably also means unending mess and dirt and stink, but I always enjoy a bit of freedom and craziness. But who knows, maybe I’ll become an overbearing, protective kind of mommy. I really wonder what kind of mama I’ll grow into as well since my little guys are only 9 months.
Either way, let me just say that I’m always tired and feel defeated everyday. I keep moving forward and enjoy all the crazy along the way. And… we are not ready for that 3rd or 4th or 5th child just yet.
The Value of Family Love
My desire to have many children really comes from the example that I see in my mom and her family. My mom is right in the middle–one of five. She has one older brother, one older sister, one younger sister and one younger brother. She literally has one of each.
Growing up and even now, I have visibly witnessed the value of family love through them. They are there for each other, share all their things with each other, and serve one another without hesitation.My grandma who is currently residing in a nursing home due to her Alzheimer’s is never lonely because someone is always there beside her to keep her company. I feel so lucky that because I really see it as the original design and example of God’s love in the family context.
I believe that all I get to witness and experience now in my family is the fruit from my grandfather’s sowing of the father’s love in his children. My grandpa passed years ago, but I’m told that my grandfather really exemplified that deep love and acceptance that every child should experience.
So yes, due to that embedded value in family and support seen in larger families, I would love that too. But I do realize it’s really a blessing from God. It’s not often that you get to see siblings so close. More often than it should be, siblings and family members grow apart. Conflicts, distances, and differences cause separation and hostility.
Prayer for family.
With that, I really believe in the power of prayer and for allowing God to guide you in how you raise your children.
I pray that my family and every family will foster a loving, safe, caring environment. May each person feel at home.. at home. May they experience freedom to be themselves and to feel accepted. I pray that we can be a support for each other instead of putting each other down. Instead of using hurtful words or engaging in passivity, may we be proactive in speaking truth and life to one another and demonstrating love to one another. May we show appreciation when needed and provide support always. May we apologize and repent when we do wrong. I pray that we will be motivated to seek complete healing and experience restored relationships when we hurt one another. May forgiveness and reconciliation be a marker in our family. May the love of God surround each person’s heart that they may feel compelled to share that love with other. May we be filled with the Holy Spirit that we may walk in the ways of Jesus Christ, in full confidence in who we are as children of God.